You have probably heard the cliche that some couples stay together because they have children when they would otherwise get divorced. Is this really something people do, or do they just split up and sort out the custody details in court?

It’s not always an either/or proposition. In many cases, couples who eventually get divorced acknowledge that they only took as long as they did because they were trying to make that relationship last for their children.

One man said that he and his wife stayed married for “longer than we probably should have” because they felt that obligation to their kids. They did eventually divorce, and he said that his children were doing well. It’s not that it didn’t impact them, but he seemed happy with the way they moved through the process.

He even added that, with the benefit of hindsight, he felt like staying married that long may have done more harm than good because he and his ex were unhappy and fighting all the time. That’s the type of thing that can quickly end a relationship without children, but they kept it going.

It’s an important point for parents to consider, especially if those fights ever edge into physical or emotional abuse. This is not a safe or healthy living situation for the children or for the spouse who is suffering that abuse. There is nothing noble about keeping the children in a home where they may be in danger. It is important for people to know what options they have to end their marriage and seek out the best possible life for the kids.